a terrible insight...

ever since i realized that i would be in the media field , mostly into advertising , copy writing and story writing... I had the craziest and scariest fear fill me. My style of writing or for the matter my daily articulation itself is plain words , raw topics and straight on the face. I fear least when it comes to people out side my family. But then I always had and i still have a fear when it comes to family reading my posts or comments online.

I was branded a shy and backward child in school , my folks and family graded me as a silent person who never voices an opinion and finally the whole of my world looks down upon every single i take , to be more precise , actions that have done one the adverse side in my life is all that my folks could always remember. My attachment with the love affair thing has always landed me in dire disasters and I ve never discussed private topics or even violent ones at home , tho common and current affairs are a common discussion at the dinner table.

Most of my stories have scenes of passion , sometimes violence and I was branded by a film maker to the peak for my description of passionate scenes. I feel elated every time some one credits my work , but the very thought of my folks reading or seeing them gives me the jolt of life. Most of my writings happen to be critic sited , and sometimes i am forced to use the f&b words of english in the most grandeur. I still have no clue if my works would ever be accepted at home. Thanks to the zero encouragement i receive at home , else i would have had to get an approval from them for all of my works.

True , the bravest of men may fear the slightest prick of syringes needle. Family is still an immense bonding emotion when it comes to being brought up in India. But I would be more than glad to trash all of my works for one adorable and warm hug from folks at home rather than the reputation and fame my works may bring me. After all , if it weren't for them , I wouldn have learned aspects of love and care. Its a free of cost experience for one and all in this world.

Now I realize why i fumble when i see a member of my family in any of the audience i ve anchored. Silly i know , but still wondering if i should fight this fear or not , coz its a wonderful and wild feeling to own the world but submit as nothing to your family's love. Guess there is nothing greater than that...